The Perils of Online Dating

“You should message me if… Your 6’1 or taller, sexy, healthy, good-looking, athletic body, smart, ambitious, successful, passionate, drug-free, disease free, within my age range, single, charming, witty, well read, loyal, faithful, non-religious, creative, wealthy, you like kids, motivated, educated, active, fun, independent, generous, and stylish.”

But other than that, just be yourself!

Add comment August 22nd, 2012

Hey, it’s August, have a few links

Hyperbole and a Half – A webcomic in which the author relates various stories from her childhood, her insane dogs, and adventures in dealing with depression. Insightful and much funnier than it sounds.

A Pixar Illustrator Turns R-Rated Movies Into Scenes From Children’s Books – That needs no further description, does it?

My Take On Kitty Pryde Is That I Love Kitty Pryde – in which a one Laura Jane dissects an obsession with 19-year-old rapper Kitty Pryde (nothing to do with the X-Men, per se).

Neil Gaiman – On “writer’s block”.

TTFN

Add comment August 9th, 2012

Theme Mix Holiday – Fourth of July Edition

“I’ve lost all ambition for worldly things,” as the first song on this mix states. But in lieu of wanting to actually set things on fire, I’ll throw together a mix in honor of Independence Day.

On a related note, was Elliott Smith a big fan of The Fourth? Between “Roman Candle” and “Independence Day”– as well as the Heatmiser song “Bottle Rocket”, although it’s a Neil Gust track– I wonder.

Name Artist Album YouTube
1 I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire The Ink Spots Fallout 3 Soundtrack Yes
2 July 3rd People Under The Stairs Question In The Form Of An Answer Yes
3 Independence Day Elliott Smith XO Yes
4 Brooklyn’s On Fire! Nicole Atkins Neptune City Yes
5 Porno For Pyros Porno For Pyros Porno For Pyros Yes (live)
6 Trigger 4th DJ N-Wee (Jay-Z/Pavement) The Slack Album Yes
7 Wet Firecracker Silkworm Firewater Yes
8 It’s Natural To Be Afraid Explosions In The Sky All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone Yes
9 In Bloom Nirvana Nevermind Yes
10 Dig For Fire The Pixies Bossanova Yes
11 Royal Firecracker Teeth Black Moth Super Rainbow + The Octopus Project The House of Apples and Eyeballs Yes
12 Great Balls of Fire Jerry Lee Lewis Jerry Lee’s Greatest Yes
13 Rocketship Jon Spencer Blues Explosion Now I Got Worry Yes
14 Fires Band of Skulls Baby Darling Doll Face Honey Yes

Loved this YouTube comment on the Jerry Lee Lewis video: “I should flag this as inappropriate – I think I just watched a man make love to a piano.”

1 comment July 4th, 2012

Theme Mix Saturday – A Beard Like A Billy Goat

Dedicated to Adam Yauch, aka MCA, who died yesterday after fighting cancer for three years. Stupid cancer. In addition to being an awesome rapper, bassist, and director, Yauch was a class act. The world is better off for having had him in it.

This Beastie Boys mix features tracks with my favorite MCA lines highlighted where I find ‘em. Rest in peace, beastie.

Name Album MCA Quote
1 Jimmy James Check Your Head “This is type a’ kinda like a formal dedication”
2 Time To Get Ill Licensed to Ill “Now what’s the time?”
3 The Negotiation Limerick File Hello Nasty  
4 The Sounds of Science Paul’s Boutique “Expanding the rhymes of sucker MC amateurs”
5 Nonstop Disco Powerpack Hot Sauce Committee Pt. 2 “Well, I feel right / I speak my words on the track cuz the track sound tight”
6 In 3′s Check Your Head (instrumental)
7 Alright Hear This Ill Communication “I ask God for a rhyme or two / A little something for the wise as well as the fools”
8 Shadrach Paul’s Boutique “Smoke the holy chalice, got my own religion”
9 Slow Ride Licensed To Ill “They got a committee to get me off the block / Cuz I say my rhymes loud and I say ‘em nonstop”
10 Shake Your Rump Paul’s Boutique “Yeah, we’ve got beef, chief / We’re knocking out teeth, chief / And if you don’t believe us you should question your belief, Keith”
11 Three MC’s and One DJ Hello Nasty “All top secret and classified / I grab ahold of a mic and let the words glide”
12 What Comes Around Paul’s Boutique  
13 So What’cha Want Check Your Head “I’ve got depth of perception in my text y’all / I get props at my mention cuz I vex y’all”
14 Car Thief Paul’s Boutique “I don’t buy cheeba, I grow it”
15 Sure Shot Ill Communication “I’ve got more rhymes than I’ve got gray hairs, and that’s a lot because I’ve got my share”
16 B-Boys in the Cut Hot Sauce Committee Pt. 2 “Come at me with rain I’m coming back with hail / My broadsword will cut through your chainmail”
17 Unite Hello Nasty “Will someone in the Knicks please drive the lane?”
18 B-Boy Bouillabaise Paul’s Boutique “I’m going to the limits of my ultimate destiny / Feeling as though somewhere somebody’s testing me”

2 comments May 5th, 2012

Three Pennies

I have three pennies. In the official parlance, that’s three one cent pieces. They’re the remains of my savings. Last year, when I made the switch from multinational conglomerate bank to a credit union that had an interest rate greater than 0.05% on their savings account, I took all of my money out of the one and went across the street to deposit it in the other. The next day, however, the bank called me back: they couldn’t close my account quite yet. In the interim, the phantom of my money in savings had accrued interest! Three cents, to be exact. I had to go back to the bank.

The first trip was relatively painless but this one was much more ludicrous and actually took longer than the initial trip to close out my account. When things got to be finalized, however, I told them, naturally, that I wanted my savings in cash. They actually brought it out to me in one of those blue leathery ziploc deposit bags: these three pennies.

I decided then and there that these pennies, the remnants of an account I’d had for the better part of a decade, must all have a specific fate. I sequestered them into a separate pocket and have kept them set aside for their destinies. They are, in chronological order:

#1 – 1974, Denver Mint

The oldest and most tarnished of the three. This one features a one “Abraham Lincoln” character on the front. I get the feeling this isn’t the last we’ll see of him. Being made after 1946 but before 1982, this one is brass. Specifically, it’s 95% copper and 5% zinc, according to the almighty Wikipedia. As with all three pennies, the reverse features the Lincoln Memorial.

#2 – 1980, Philadelphia mint

This one is still fairly ruddy but noticeably less worn than penny numero uno. It has a lot in common with the first penny, from it’s Lincolnlike visage to its metallic composition. It, however, was made sometime after I was born. Also, in Philadelphia.

#3 – 2007, Denver mint

Easily the newest and shiniest of my hoarded savings, as a newer penny it’s hardly copper at all. All pennies made from 1983 to the present day are largely zinc, with only 2.5% of its composition being copper, most of which is the pure copper plating. Like the other two, it is worth more as metal than as a one cent piece owing to inflation.

So, as we’ve learned, there is a lot of information about the penny on Wikipedia. Also, zinc is apparently highly toxic to dogs and parrots, so stop feeding your pets newer pennies. And we know their densities but what, prey tell, are their destinies? I’ve identified a few possibilities, some distinct fates to which I shall leave these forlorn farthings. The list of possibilities so far…

  • Wishing Well/Fountain (of course)
  • Turn into a souvenir in a penny-flattening machine
  • Flatten on the train tracks (although this is too similar to the above)
  • Use as a fuse (not really, that’s actually kind of dangerous)

Okay, so I’ve actually only got two ideas but, alas, three pennies. I’m keeping them in a certain coat pocket, ready for that inspiration to strike at a moment’s notice! Or when I find a wishing well. But as to the fate of the third penny… I am open to suggestions. Anyone?

1 comment March 28th, 2012

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